The Power of Forty

I’m officially 40…. So add a little extra respect in your tone of voice when you speak to me! Just kidding… (I’m actually not kidding at all). I celebrated my 40th with some of the most cherished people in my life. A few key players were missing but I felt their energy in the room the moment the music started playing and the laughter filled the space. So first things first… take a peek at my 40th celebration video!

So here’s the scoop! I’ve crossed the threshold of the 6 month mark of being 40… which means I can now speak on the topic without worrying that I don’t have any ‘experience’. Turning 40 changes you… I went through a clean sweep of resets. Let’s dig into that a bit.

1. I took 13hrs to remove 4000+ followers on my personal instagram account on January 1st. Funny enough there is no ‘remove multiple people’ option on Instagram.. It was tedious but in my mind it HAD to be done. Stuck my page into private mode and kept it that way for 5 months.

2. My TikTok was purged! Having a viral video is honestly so wild to mentally process. 7.6+ million individuals watched and interacted with a random karaoke video I filmed while in Scottsdale Arizona. A daytime television show picked it up and shared it as well. Needless to say, I turned off the comments but that didn’t stop my phone from dying from the constant notifications. So that had to go. Went private and deleted all my personal videos.

3. I started saying ‘No’ to a lot more things without searching for the right words to explain why I don’t want to do something. To be fair, I can now use the excuse “I’m not doing that… I’m old!”

4. Business sabbatical. That’s what I’ll call it. I stopped marketing and let whatever clients trickle in organically populate my calendar/schedule. (I highly don’t recommend if you’re a small business owner!) Absolutely NOT in this economy.

5. Adopted the “It is…. what it is” mentality. Why worry about something you can’t control. Simply let things be.

I’ve learned to slow down in my reactions to things. I feel like we are all in a rush to get so much done ALL THE TIME that we miss out on what we’re truly experiencing in the moment. What’s the hurry? Why the rush? I like my new pace with things. I’m less triggered by the foolishness others drag into my orbit. I recognize the complexity of certain aspects of life and let the pieces land where they will. Don’t get me wrong… I’ll speak on topics that directly affect me. But what’s the rush!?! I see you… we’ll get to it when the timing is right.

Adulting is still 100% a scam. What do you mean I went through all that school to simply plug into the system and work to make money and do that until the end!? Ahhhhh….. so yes, I will still find the little pleasures of life to indulge in. I’ll continue to take the trips to far off lands. I’ll pick up a cookbook and try new recipes. I’ll be okay if my colored pencils aren’t in the specific rainbow order while putting them away. I’ll be happy with each moment I'm awarded in this thing called life.

To be 40 is to be free! I don’t care what anyone has to say about who they ‘think’ I am. I KNOW who I am. I’ve been building this version of myself for literally…. 40.5 years. (My half birthday was on July 17th… #SendGifts) I love the people I surround myself with. I love the life I’ve been creating and I look forward to more adventures and happenings. Growth never stops… and for that I’m thankful.

Cheers to The Power of Forty and all the tidbits that make level ‘4’ amazing!!

XOXO - Kariba

ChocoLIT Meltdown Summer Day Party

ChocoLIT! ChocoLIT!

I had such an amazing time with my friends during my ChocoLIT Summer Meltdown Party. Now if you’ve been following along on my instagram account and viewing my stories, you already know how EPIC this party was. I kept it intimate with a few close knit people and we partied hard on a Sunday. Still can’t believe it was a Sunday Day Party… however, it was perfect. I feel like the older my crew gets the more we appreciate doing things during the daytime. (I’m sounding like a real seasoned old head) I personally can’t take too much credit, my friend Jeannawade gave me the extra nudge to pick whatever date and the people who can make it, will! So thanks girl… I appreciate you for that push.

Theme: ChocoLIT. This one was a bit tricky to come up with. Little fun fact, I’m not a chocolate fan. I never crave it and you won’t find me buying chocolate at a store for myself. HOWEVER, when it comes to gifting my friends and family amazing chocolate I always find the good stuff. (From reviews and chocolate fans who give their 2 cents).

I went with my go - to for catering… Cater4You. Located in Renton, WA and they create the most flavorful dishes I have ever tasted.

Green Power Baddie

I thought about naming this “Green Power Ranger” but I have this feeling it would attract die hard fans of the show and I didn’t want to confuse anybody. Needless to say… I have embraced my GREEN POWER! You may possibly be wondering what in the world I’m talking about. Lucky for you, you’re at the right place to understand more. Now please, follow along and try not to get too confused.

My favorite color ever since I could remember has been green. Pale jade to be exact if we are going to get technical with things. Random thought…. pale jade is also the color of some beautiful tropical water.

Coincidence??? I think NOT! I love being in water, but that’s a story for another day. I remember trying to BEG my mother to allow me to paint my half of the shared bedroom green. That idea was a failed mission. However, she did allow my sister and I to get this terrible wallpaper trim that had both green and purple flowers ‘her favorite color’ to line the entire trim of the room. To be fair, we asked so many times and when we finally put it up, there was instant regret! We rocked with it for years though. So much effort went into getting it, how could we possibly ask to take it down? My Nigerian mother would most likely not be having any of that. I digresss…. back to the green. So yes, it’s always been my favorite color.

Here is an interesting tidbit… I could never get myself to want to willingly wear things that were solid green. Something about my skin being brown and me wearing green made me feel like a human tree. Yes, you read that right. Growing up in the Seattle area, we are surrounded by Evergreen Trees. Such massive and majestic trees that cover the entire landscape in the west side of the Pacific Northwest. My favorite tree in reality is a Palm Tree. Also green and brown. So you see, I wasn’t too keen on being a tree and I opted for anything else. My adult years most people would assume I only own black clothing. As a photographer I like wearing black but vibrant colors also make me smile. So here and there I will rock vibrant lipsticks and wear hot pink or orange. Such extremes, but that’s what I liked so that’s what I did. Running away from the color that actually brings me a calm zen feeling. Wowzers!

Why green? I see green and think of Freedom, Growth, Success, Healing, Resilience, Acceptance and Renewal. Little kid Kariba also thought about ‘CASH MONEY’ and I knew I would get LOTS of it, so yes… green was it! The fear of feeling like a human tree or being teased for my brown skin while wearing green consumed me. I remember my father wearing a solid brown shirt once and the way I came for him was so extra. I told him “If you go outside, nobody will even know you’re wearing a shirt and they might call the police… is that what you want?” Looking back now, the actuality of that happening was slim to none. Also, was I projecting my fears on him? Most likely! Thankfully I grew out of that phase. Side-note, he did change out of that brown flesh toned shirt. LOL!

Being a mid-30 something diva supreme and re-igniting my inner fire, my care factor of judgement from others has dissipated. I simply can not even be bothered by most things anymore. I have experienced WAY TOO MUCH this past year alone to even blink an eye at something so basic as wearing something that others might not like. No way… I’m back in my 100% authentic era which means doing things that make me happy. I can not, and will not let my fear hold me back anymore. If I want something, best believe I’m going to do my absolute best to get out there and get it. So I wear green… and let’s be honest, how cute is this Target Style getup!?!

3 shades of green + 1 photoshoot + pure energy = FABULOUS PHOTOS! I loved everything about getting these photos taken. Loved them so much I’m here sharing them with you. Special thanks to Lauren Cross Photography… a light worker and sparkle boss lady! She captured me in the moment rocking my favorite color green. Life is wild…. and I’m totally here for it!

XOXO - Kariba

No new Friends

Adulting + making new friends is rather interesting. I’m still contemplating if I’m on the #TeamNoNewFriends side or not. Making new friends as a kid was so EASY! At times it looked a lot like this…. “I have a yellow crayon, you have an orange one… we both have crayons… want to be friends?” As a mid 30’s sexy beast of a woman, I would like to speak on my experience. Before I dive in, I want to talk about another topic. ENDING FRIENDSHIPS that no longer serve you.

”Want to be friends?”

It took me up until my 30’s to fully understand the ‘why’ of my patterned behavior when it comes to ‘friends’. For starters I realized that I throw the term ‘Friend’ out way too much. Not everybody I come across is my actual friend. Some could be great business associates, clients or someone you would refer for their skills and talents. I was acting like I was collecting friends like Pokemon Go… “Gotta catch ‘em all!”. Call it being naive or too trusting, some of the women and men that have crossed my path in the past have been questionable at best.

The pandemic allowed me to see a couple friendships to their end points. In order to not over complicate what I’m saying, I said goodbye to a couple long lasting situations that some would call toxic. Another way to phrase it would be, saying goodbye to friendships that have run its course. Ending friendships does not have to be a messy endeavor. It can be as simple as waking up one morning and inhaling then exhaling and continuing on. I kept this same energy leading out of the worst of the pandemic and up until this point.

NO NEW FRIENDS….

Talk about a rollercoaster that has come off its hinges. FRIENDS!!! I blame Facebook for using the term so lightly. “Oh yah, they are my friend”…. “I sent you a friend request”…. “We became friends just a couple days ago.” Why couldn’t Facebook simply call it… “Connection Requests” instead? I’ve always been really big on words. People use words incorrectly often (I’m not exempt from this). I sometimes have to backtrack and Google the definitions of some of the words I say. Most times I end up laughing at myself because the definition is NOT the same as the one I made up in my head.

Loving me as I evolve…

We are always changing and to find those right people who give you to space to grow and discover yourself .

#TeamNoNewFriends - Back to the topic. I have my core set friends. The ones who have seen me through changes of life and still stick around loving me as I evolve. We are always changing and to find those right people who give you to space to grow and discover yourself are a dime a dozen. So for that I’m thankful! I have personally experienced more than a handful of people who have entered my life wanting to ride the ‘hype train’. They don’t know much about me as an individual but they see the things I do and get inspired to want to be around that type of energy. I think that’s the best way to describe it. Time and time again those mini situationships end as fast as they started. I used to feel slightly bad about cutting people off until I stopped feeling that way. Of course, there are always exceptions to this #TeamNoNewFriends agenda. Lol! So take my words as you may.

Protecting my energy and peace are #1 in my books. This is something I chose to not overlook anymore. Not everyone will fully align with me and that’s okay. There will be associates who will come in and out of my life for different reasons and seasons and just like water… the flow will continue on. Being at peace with this has changed me these last couple of months. I can honestly say… I’m happy! Absolutely no hard feelings to those who once were in the mix with my cosmic energy. All is well and I wish nothing but happiness and peace within the lives of those who were once close. Life is all about growing… and that’s what I will continue to do.

XOXO - Kariba